nostalgia

in moments like this, i dont know why i always run to my blog. probably because its a place where i can be myself, where i can speak my mind, where there is no one but me. how lonely isnt it? i am, actually.
im not sure how long i have been feeling the way i do right now. matagal na. matagal na matagal na. sa totoo lang, i wouldnt notice it and i wouldnt mind not until ibang tao na ang nakakapansin. i honestly didnt know that i am lonely. its the people around me who says i am. sobrang ironic kc im a jolly person. i make them laugh. pero bakit nga ganun kaya?
kanina sa simbahan muka lang ako ng panto. i was so shy to tell Him. ang nasabi ku na lang "kahit hndi nman po ako magsalita, i know u hear me." minsan kc naiisip ku, He gave so much to me. more than what i am asking for. and im thankful for that. alam ku i am not able to thank Him enough for that. for all the blessings. pero wala din nman akong matakbuhan pag malungkot ako. especially now, im miles away from my family and close friends.
malungkot pala tlga ang magisa - walang espesyal. boring.