...

napapagod na ako. pero parang hindi pede. bawal.

ayoko na ng ganito. pero parang hindi pede. bawal.

gusto ku na maglaho ng biglaan, kahit saglit lang.
pero parang imposible. malabo.

bakit yun iba pede naman?
bakit yun iba hindi naman bawal?
bakit yun iba posible?

bakit un iba masaya?

bakit ako hindi?

it strikes me again

wala naman sigurong masama kung aaminin ko na nalulungkot ako di ba? ang hirap naman maging masaya. paano ba?

:(

nahohomesick ako.

bigla ku na lang naramdaman na gusto ku ng umuwi.

ang panto ng ganito.

nalulungkot ako.

ang tagal pa.

ilang buwan pa.

bakit ganun?

my first birthday...

.... away from home.

eto ang una kong birthday sa ibang bansa, dito sa singapore. wala nman talaga akong balak mag celebrate pero nagcelebrate pren, hehehehe. masaya xempre. especially i celebated it with special people - my friends.

june 10, i celebrated it with my officemates - pearl, elaine, ryan, dan and xian. we had dinner at chinese indian restaurant somewhere at little india. it was not our first time there. we went there before, nagdinner lang kme (ang sosyal ano?hehehe). maayos ang food, ang sarap! tapos binigay nla sken un gift nla, bag from adidas. may eksena pa yang bag na yan :) it was me, dan and elaine who bought it at cathay and all the while i thought we're buying it for dan's friend. kya pla tanong cla ng tanong ng opinyon ku, ehhehehhe.. para sken pla ang bag na nabanggit. eksenang eksena! at hndi lang un, may card pang kasama un... na tats tlga ako.. sa birthday card ay nag message din ang ilan pa sa malalapit kong kaibigan sa office - philip, jed, hazel, mommy chona, giselle, katrina, grace, zarah, joan, gilbert, annie, carol, mike, leah, lenin, and sheila. masayang masaya ako :) thank you guys!

sa bahay nman ay pinaghanda ako ng mga flatmates ku :) spaghetti, chicken, spare ribbs at cake. napakasaaaaarap! luto lhat ni kuya gener un. thank you. tapos nag gift nla ay bag din.. ang ganda din! malaki xa, color white, sosyal! hehehehe.. they really know what i want. though sabi nla nahirapan daw clang maghanap ng gift para sken... nagpunta din ang ilang kaibigan ku - aseng, toni, nathan and melvin. pichuran ever!

nakakatawa kc ako tlga ang tumawag sa bahay para makausap cla mommy at batiin ako, hahahhahaha! wish kulang ito! tapos nakausap ku din c fatimah :) na tats ako kc pinadalhan nia ku ng mms message nia na merong birthday greeting... terimah kasih sayang....

i never expected that things will be this great on my birthday. usually kc ay dumadaan lang nman xa. nothing really speacial. nakakatuwa na merong mga tao na nag-effort para maging espesyal ang araw na ito.. maraming salamat.

midnight bottle

Midnight bottle take me calmly through my memories and everything come back to me
Midnight bottle make it real what feels like make believe so I can see a little more clearly
Like every single move you make kissing me so carefully on the corners of my dreaming eyes

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
I think of you and everything's all right if only for tonight
Got a midnight bottle drifting off into the candlelight where I can find you any old time
A midnight bottle I forgot how good it felt to be in a dream just like you had me
Cause lately I've been stumbling feels like I'm recovering
But I think it's only for tonight

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
I think of you and everything's all right if only for tonight
If only for tonight, if only for tonight, if only for tonight

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
I think of you and everything's all right if only for tonight
If only for tonight, if only for tonight, if only for tonight

vian keizen

24-may-2008

this is one of the days that i feel like going home.
it is a minute of the time that i ask why im here and not with them.
it is one of the moments when i am ready to leave all behind.

but then it was just a feeling.
it was just a question.
it was just a thought.

i realized that im not yet ready afterall.

i_am_back

ang tagal kong hindi nagawa ito.
ang tagal na halos makalimutan ko na kung paano.
isang bagay na nakasanayan ko ng gawin
at bigla na lang nahinto dahil kailangan
at wala naman ibang paraan.
pero eto ulit ako at nagta-type ng mga salitang
dati ay iniisip ku lang, na kung sana ay meron lang
akong kakayahan nuon, dati pa ito nandito.

masaya ako.